Theo, what hath become of thee

I don’t often write in the first person. Sharing my thoughts isn’t something that comes naturally when I put pen to paper. I’m not one for confrontation, in fact, I’ll do anything to steer clear of it. So, I try to keep people happy and off my back with facts rather than opinions. However, things have gotten to the point where I do need to break character for a minute.

I’ve been fairly quiet on the Van Persie situation since it’s not a particularly hard hitting one personally. Nothing will ever compare to the sorrow of seeing my idol, Dennis Bergkamp retire. Edu’s departure comes a close second, with watching him celebrate a goal in his final match at Highbury only making those feelings even more overwhelming.

We’ve heard the “leaving for trophies, not for money” spiel. Bullsh- who in their right mind wouldn’t take a few hundred thousand to sit on a bench and maybe sometimes play football regardless of trophies? I’d even take a fraction of that to sit on the bench at a mid-table Championship club but my skewed ethical views may be affecting that.

Frankly, there’s no way to talk about where the club stands without sounding completely redundant. We have a good player at the club, he doesn’t want to be here. Forcing him to stay isn’t going to solve anything. And with battle-hardened Arsenal fans being covered in a thick layer of cynicism there’s understandably an air of pessimism around a possible “u-turn” by the player. That’s that, nothing more can or needs to be said.

But if a player like Theo Walcott starts pulling stunts like this, things are just starting to get out of hand. I usually keep away from things like this so getting involved in it is quite hypocritical. But, the longer the contract talks are stretched out the worry that he could force his way out is ever present.

I’ve never really cared for the player. Not that I don’t like him; he does have his moments of magic but the winger is so inconsistent that it’s difficult not to feel fickle when it comes to whether you love or hate him. Similar to oil and water, his good and poor performances have created a fine balance of apathy in my mind.

There’s not much you can do though. Players are greedy; nay, people are greedy. Think about this: you offer the biggest loser you know the chance to be with the most attractive woman in the world. And not just that, you offer to pay for everything he needs to keep her happy. “Dinner and movies? Done. Flowers? No problem at all. Holiday in the Alps?! Getting a bit ambitious aren’t you, lad? Haha, just joking, let me get my cheque book,” you say.

Then a year passes and by now the shock and disbelief of passersby has inflated this man’s ego. He walks around thinking he’s some kind of Adonis and decides to leave thinking he has the ability to do better for himself. But no, the aura just disappears and he reverts to his original state.

Now don’t take this literally, because I know some of you morons will. But, Theo is our metaphoric little loser. Seven years have passed since his arrival at the club and all that potential has more or less gone, leaving us with a final product that isn’t actually a finished one yet. And still, with players like Van Persie creating and getting on the end of his chances, Theo racked up a decent tally. Cue higher wage demands.

Hold on, go back to the analogy. Mind blown, right?

The real question is if he can he even use the excuse for wanting to leave for trophies. At Liverpool? Okay. While you’re at it, do you want to paddle across the Atlantic on a 96 year-old man’s back too, Theo? Better start now if you want to make it to Brazil by 2014.



About Saurabh

Childhood Arsenal fan. Student of the game.

4 responses to “Theo, what hath become of thee”

  1. jk says :

    Couldnt agree more but wenger has to take some blame, he has these players on huge contracts before they have proved themselves its a joke. he has already improved artetas contract and the ox after barely a season and why? wenger is also way to loyal to players that it gets to the point where walcott thinks hes a 100k a week winger and irreplaceable!! and you wonder why when he gets slaped in the face by fabregas, nasri, adebayor, clichy and soon to be rvp and maybe walcott. He needs to be ruthless both on performances and transfer dealings!!

  2. Forza Gunners says :

    Wenger had them on huge contracts I think to protect the club from the Websters clause of players buying themselves out of contract as Hleb had threatened.

  3. Semwanga says :

    I will b gr8ful if u stoped writting abt dat greedy little fool, hw i wish he goes

  4. slugboy says :

    Yes, he believes his own hype. Nowhere near as good as he thinks. Very inconsistent. I also don’t understand th idea that people think he’s a striker. He’s not, he’s a Very average winger who has a few good moments.

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