My Perfect Player #5

Well, I’ve been a little busy so I’ve been hosting guests’ perfect players, but now all my exams are finished (for the time being) I can finally write my own. It’s been a while since I wrote on here, but I’ve been writing some guest posts, so keep an eye out. Hope you’re all enjoying the new site.

Brain – Johan Cruyff

I’ve chosen Cruyff not only for his footballing brain as a player, but his managerial brilliance. Not only did he know the game inside-out on the pitch, he also knew it like the back of his hand off it. Having Cruyff’s brain in my player would mean he’d pretty much be an on-pitch manager. His footballing brain is right up there with the best.

Head – Falcao

Falcao is perhaps a strange one but this season he’s really caught my eye with his incredible heading skills, not least in Porto’s Europa League semi-final first leg against Villarreal. 1-0 down and struggling a little, Falcao grabbed a sensational four goals – a tap-in, a penalty and two headers. The two goals with his noggin were headers of the highest, highest quality – one a diving header across goal, the other a brilliant standing header from a corner. It seems like only a matter of time before he makes his move to one of the top European leagues, and his unbelievable heading ability is just one of the reasons why he’s so highly rated.

Eyes – Xabi Alonso

You would have probably expected me to select Cesc Fabregas for this particular body part, but I decided to mix it up a little, and went for Real Madrid’s Xabi Alonso. Formerly of Liverpool, Alonso sprays passes around with ease, and is normally one or two steps ahead of the rest of the players. And it’s not just passes that he sees – he’s scored a couple of goals from inside his own half thanks to his excellent vision.

Mouth – Tony Adams

Well, I couldn’t really choose anyone else, could I? Tony was an absolutely magnificent captain for us, regardless of his off-pitch problems. If he told someone to do it, they’d damn well do it. It wasn’t that he struck fear into his players though – everyone around him had the utmost respect for him. Even opposition fans. He was a terrific leader, which makes him perfect for this section of my perfect player.

Lungs – Dirk Kuyt

This bloke just never stops running – I’m not actually sure he knows how to. I may hold a grudge against him for his foul on Hleb in the Champions League that should have been a penalty, but I must admit, he hasn’t half got an engine in him. But it’s not just down to his superb stamina; his attitude is also a reason why he manages to chase down every lost cause. If there was a team of Dirk Kuyts, they might lose every game and win the Ugliest Team of the Year award, but they’d also win the Most Miles Run by a Team award. If that award exists. It probably doesn’t.

Arms – Iker Casillas

Just in case my player has to go in goal, I’ve selected Iker Casillas’ arms. Not much needs to be said really; he’s a terrific goalkeeper, and he always has been. What a career he’s had too – he’s been Real’s number one goalkeeper since the beginning of his career. It’s easy to forget how good, and indeed young, he is.

Legs – Roberto Carlos

This is a category I’m surprised people haven’t used; I would’ve thought more guests would have chosen legs. Don’t worry, my choice has nothing to do with the appearance of Carlos’ legs. But not many have quicker or more powerful legs than his were in his prime – his thighs are genuinely like tree trunks. His speed, power and acceleration generated from them – immense.

Left foot – Arjen Robben

Ok, he might be a bit of a diving, whining wally but you can’t fault his left foot. When he’s at his best, Robben’s left foot is an absolute wand. His goal against Manchester United in the Champions League two years ago was a complete stunner, and that was just one of his magical goals scored with his left. There’ll be plenty more to come, too. And it’s not just his goals. His teasing crosses are usually magnificent, and when he runs with the ball, the ball seems to be glued to his foot.

Right foot – Thierry Henry

Come on – I wasn’t going to pick anyone else was I? It was an absolute crime that he never won WPOTY. Zidane and Nedved were the players that beat him to the award in his prime. Zidane is debatable and I can see why he pipped Thierry to the post. But Nedved? I’m sorry, but however good he may have been, no way was he as good as Thierry. It’s difficult to sum up in words how good Henry was. Specifically, his right foot was wonderful. He could do things people couldn’t even dream of. His finishing was deadly with it; when clean through, he’d just caress the ball into the corner, no questions asked. And some of the skills he could produce were jaw-dropping. Not to mention the volleys… oh, Thierry. I could watch you play all day.


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